God
Category: Online flash game / unsorted games game
License: free
Players:1 player game.
Game size:1,19 KB
The GameBot found the game here:
press to start it: http://games.lynms.edu.hk/games/20050207/god.swf
(in)Game description (19995 characters)
NOW LOOK WHAT
YOUVE DONE!
SKIP INTRO
SKIP INTRO
And yay, the Lord said verily, "without doubt, you cannot learn"
by which he meant that you should occasionally ask yourself , "is this
really the way to the toilet?"
And Roger went forth and multiplied, with his wife, which was natural,
and all good things came to those who waiteth... th... thorry, lithp.
And the Lord did bigup His-Self in the name, the Word, which, as will be
understood, is "Bugger!"
Mighty is the network, the everslow, all-encompasing, action-reaction,
thinking, rethinking, recursing, struggling, seething mass we live in.
Mighty indeed, yet perhaps a little bit silly.
If all thought were understood, who would be doing the understanding?
And they did say about the prequel to this game, yay, they said "THIS
GAME IS ADDICTIVE MAN! "
They also said "Your stupid cool simplistec game got me addicted and
wasted 30 minutes of my life. I hope youre happy." about the before-
game.
And yay, they have talked about the original WRATH in the following
manner, "DIE MOOCOWS! DIE PARACHUTE SHEEP! DIE
HYPERACTIVE HOPPING CHILDREN!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!"
which can be taken as somewhat over-enthusiastic.
And the Lord said, "Im really looking forward to putting my feet up for a
while," which can be understood, seeing as hed been overdoing it for
weeks now.
To which, Samuel replied, "Ive seen Clyde on better days. Hadnt we
better help him out of the cesspit?"
Nothing could take away Mollys love for a nice cup of cocoa. Not even a
strapping young lad. which is unfortunate, because it was Mollys
undoing.
Twas a mighty blow, but not everyone enjoyed the first WRATH as much
as the Great Council. One heathen had this to say...
"1 u r japaneese fukka that beleves bhudah (do not explain how to spell it
for I dont care) 2. if u r christian or watever the that beleves in god i sure
wouldnt think god would sum wrath against cows and sheep and a few
people so here the deal dont bring religion in yer stupid ass games and
ill shut the fuck up ight"
Which is just downright silly - go read the old testament buddy!
And also, of the first WRATH, it was said, "All they had to do was
follow a few thousand simple guidelines & thered be no smitin. . . but
NOOOOOO, they had to go & cross the street, didnt they?!"
Some would get a little over-excited, shouting "YAY, Strike DIE
MUHAHHAHAHAHAHA, YOU DIE TOO YOU SON OF A BITCH
COW! MUHAHAHAHA, thats one helluva game, and really fun!! :-)"
"Would anyone like any tea," said God.
"I think I might have some bisuits somewhere too."
"Does anyone have Gods email address?" said Nathanuel, who had just
managed to get online for the first time.
"Would it take the fun out of it, if I told you that none of this is real?"
said God, as he turneth to face his disciples.
"David, is that gum?" he spake.
"No sir," sayed David, hurridly trying to swallow something.
"Theres other people here you know. I hope you brought enough for
everyone!" scoldeth the Lord, for his WRATH was mighty.
And Armegalo did quote from the book of Exodus, reciting thus...
"Now take off your jewelery and i will decide what to do with you"
which was Exodus 33:4. Armegalo then remarked that this was simply
one of a number of ways a man can get rich.
And Armegalo did quote from the book of Exodus, reciting thus...
"Then Moses took the blood in the bowls and threw it on the people"
which was Exodus 34:8
And Armegalo wenteth to bed, becuase he was tired and hadnt slept for a
long time, and had sore eyes. Diddums to Armegalo. Send donations to
Armegalo, or buy a t-shirt. hed really like that. Thats it, go to
WWW.ARMEGALO.COM and buy a t-shirt :)
As time went by, he realised what it was that people wanted... but
unfortunatly, he was unable to tell anyone on account of being too tired
to talk.
And Nigel the Ninja Toilet kicked down the door, to reveal his arch-
nemesis, Evil Ern, the Sphere from Bernne.
We are bound to the future like a train on a track. Understanding this, is
unimportant, and often, its best people dont know.
Life may be a mystery, but dont go around thinking theres a plot - there
isnt, and youd do well to remember that!
Nigels best friend, Murry the Toilet Roll Dispenser was just lying there,
lifeless in his hands.
Finally, after an argument between the Father and the Son, the Holy
Ghost leapt up from beneath the table and beat them verily around the
head.
Reg paced up and down the room, unable to figure out the difference
between the Old Testicle and the New Testicle.
And the question on the tip of everyones tongue was, "recursive thought,
hive mind, is that really what were coming too?"
And yay, the crowds gathered to hear him speak in the place where they
where. And the first thing he could think of to say was, "Oy! Stop
pushing at the back."
As time passed, they found the bit of the brain dedicated to spirituality
which evolved as a survival trait to explain the unexplainable. Naturally,
growing out of this trait would take time.
Were it not for moneylenders, there might be an even spread of wealth.
Lending money is wrong, and borrowing is stupid. Has anyone got a
house I can buy for $150?
Thus, the Lord spake unto his people, "can you turn that music down, I
cant hear myself think in here!"
And so spake the Lord. And the people turned to him and said, "SHUT
THE FUCK UP! Jeez, its bad enough in here as it is!"
"NOBODY MOVE, THIS IS A ROBBERY!" said Fred, as his trousers
fell down again.
The interesting thing about chaos is the patterns, which would appear to
be a contradiction in terms. Take a Mandlebrot set, zoom in and watch
how it evolves. Now take a street map, and do the same. Find a leaf and
look closely at it. Look at someones life, look closer - try groups of
people, they way they interact. Repetitive, but infinitly different each
time. Watch planets orbitting their suns - suns orbiting galaxies. Watch
and learn. Remember that evolution is simply action, reaction. Any
chaotic system is infinatly recursive. Evolution is just another chaotic
system, and unfortunatly, it doesnt care WHO gets the cheese!
Is the Internet just a big neural network? Dont answer straight away...
look closer, slow down and really think hard about it. Enourmous
information storage - people reacting to information and messages in the
largest communication system known to mankind. Think about the hive
mind (thanks Terry Pratchett). Thousands of apparently independant little
minds, reacting to instinct, each other and outside stimuli...
Were blessed with high speed long distance communication (unless
youve got a really shit modem) and some pretty fearsome processing
power - Take it to the next level :)
Its fascinating the way governments label anyone "Terrorists" who
disagree with them, or gets in their way. Has anyone stopped to think that
it might be the governments causing more terror and pain, just to keep
their strangleholds secure? Most people believe the news they watch on
television, the spindoctors, the busybody liars. They take their impression
of what is right from their peers, and it becomes set in stone to them.
History is WRITTEN by the victors.
"I wonder why were still using petrol and diesel..." said Armegalo as he
put the finishing touches to his water engine.
There was a knock at the door.
"Mr Pringle, Im afraid Im going to have to convisgate that invention."
"Why on earth would you do that?"
"National security sir. Please come with us."
Convention is for machines.
True learning is the stuff you figure out yourself.
FOOLS!!! Muhahahahaaaaaaaa!
Every day, a learning experience. every learning experience, a blessing.
People misinterpret each other so much that thereis no point in worrying
about it.
Nigel the ninja toilet, flushing the evil of the world down the pan.
The internet will only take you seriously if you take it seriously.
Those systems that must be run like machines will become machines.
Coping with pain by treating oneself encourages repeating mistakes.
Sometimes the world can have a mind of its own.
Forget the food chain, this is a money chain.
And the Lord said, "Fugth, mewwy mewwy chim... Biggles!"
The Lord talks like that sometimes if he forgets to take his pills.
Pray for me if I have sinned. Pray for yourselves if you know whats
good for you. Pray that you wake up one day when this is all over, and
realise it was just a bunch of people being really silly.
"Its not putting words into his mouth," said the priest. "Its more like re-
phrasing it, the way he would have wanted.
Christianity - mind games.
Belief != Truth
Desire != Truth
Reality = Truth
War in the name of an omnipotent, all-knowing, all-loving, immortal
God? I dont think so. He can fight his own wars.
Bush... you prick. Good verses Evil? You PRICK! What about oil verses
poverty. Sheesh, wake up world!
Armegalo
dummy
satan
SKIP EXTRO
SKIP EXTRO
STARSPEED CONTROLLER
Im sorry, but youll have to load the movie again! Sheesh, some people...
wrath ii
v1.669
ENTER
Armegalo wishes to make his appologies in advance for
the following material. If you are easily offended,
disgusted, and/or believe yourself to be of high moral
stature, do not click the button below.
You have been warned!
For best results, close all other windows or applications
you are running. (bookmark if youre on the web...)
Virtual violence is fun
Real violence sucks BIG time.
DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME
no animals were harmed in any way during the making of wrath ii
wrath ii and all characters in this game are copyright 2002 richard pringle
and on the sixth day,
god created man
by the seventh day, hed
realised his mistake...
and "bugger!" was the word
ARMEGALO presents...
Enter Password
Info & Instructions
View Highscores
Download Wrath & Stuff
Download Wrath & Stuff
Put Wrath on Your Website
T-Shirts, Mugs, Mousemats
T-Shirts, Mugs, Mousemats
Play Hard
Play Hard
Play Easy
Play Easy
The Way Of The Exploding Cow
The Way Of The Exploding Cow
Encylopedia Satanica
Hints
About the Creator
License
Thanks
Final Word...
Enter Password
all quotes in this multimedia experience are taken from the book of armegalo
with the kind permission of the author.
randomise
BOOK OF ARMEGALO - RANDOM VERSE RECITER
CONGRATULATIONS, YOUVE FOUND THE SECRET....
Level 1 : MUhahahaha!
Level 2 : Protection
Level 3 : Visitors
Level 4 : In the way
Level 5 : Good Shepherd
PRIZE
Level 6 : Judgement
and so it came to pass...
satan was defeated...
the mortals had been taught a
very valuable lesson...
and the lords mouse finger
hurt like hell!
Submit Time to Highscores
You Must be Online to Submit
Claim prize (infinite level)
Submit your Score first...
While WRATH loads...
Place Harvey the Sqaure in an
open space. See how long you can
survive without hitting the walls.
Click to Start...
best time
Loading Wrath II
Loading Wrath II.
Loading Wrath II..
Loading Wrath II...
Wrath II has loaded ... PRESS SPACE or CLICK HERE
your time
NEW BEST TIME
WELL DONE
ARMEGALO
ARMEGALO
What a bummer... You created mankind in your own
image huh? Bit of a silly thing to do wasnt it.
So naturally, theyve run amok, and really pissed you
off, right? Sounds like punishment time...
It just so happens, that what we have here is a
specially designed set of controls and monitoring
equipment to help you do just that. Who needs divine
prescience, when youve got
the wonders of modern
technology to help you?
In order for your punishments on mankind to be
effective, they must know they are being punished. At
the bottom of the game screen is the Kill-O-Meter. The
Kill-O-Meter is directly connected to all the most
important opinion polls and news feeds, and tells you
how harsh the mortals think your WRATH!
Up to now, mankind has spread to 6 main regions. In
each of these regions, youll need to impress upon
them the importance of believing in you and
remaining faithful. This will only be achieved when
the Kill-O-Meter fills up completely.
There are several new powers at your disposal to help
you achieve your goals. You will have to train in the
use of each power in turn, and will therefore only be
using one new power per region.
What follows is a list of those powers in the order
that you will recieve them...
Lightning Gun
This is the default weapon you will have experience
of if you have played Wrath I. The Lightning Gun
employs a simple point and click interface.
A slight disadvantage is that it can only be fired at
the ground.
Hay Bomb - Key "1"
This powerful device drifts down from your domain,
and fools passing cows into stopping for a bite to
eat. When the cows have eaten enough hay, or if
the bomb gets bored, it will explode, with quite
some blast radius. The Hay Bomb can be activated
by clicking on the icon, or pressing the number "1"
on your keyboard.
Flood - Key "2"
Useful for keeping people and animals in one place
without killing them. Using combinations of the
Hay Bomb and Flood are especially effective.. Flood
can be activated by clicking on the icon, or pressing
the number "2" on your keyboard.
Quake - Key "3"
Make the earth move for everyone! Not especially a
killer, but nice to remind them whos in charge.
Very useful for keeping marauding space aliens
from taking your flock. Earthquakes can be
activated by clicking and holding the icon, or
pressing and holding the number "3" on your
keyboard. Excessive use of Earthquake may lead to
temporarily less responsive controls.
Angel of Death - Key "4"
If, for some reason, you cant reach the mortals
with conventional weapons, send someone down
there to do it by hand! The Angel of Death only kills
those who have sinned, but the very sight of the
Angel of Death can have a far greater effect on
your rating than normal killing methods. The Angel
of Death can be activated by clicking on the icon, or
pressing the number "4" on your keyboard.
Bonzai Volcano - Key "5"
Ohhh momma! Point, click, and watch them burn.
An excellent deterent for marauding space aliens
too. This is easily the most popular weapon in your
arsenal, which is why youll be getting it last. The
Bonzai Volcano can be activated by clicking on the
icon, or pressing the number "5" on your keyboard.
Well, with all those weapons at your disposal,
whats to stop you just getting out there and
completely annhilating them?...
Angels
These are basically a good natured bunch, whod
rather see things take their own natural course. Of
course, with you killing all over the place, theyre
gonna get pretty upset. Theres a fair chance that
theyre willing to sacrifice themselves in order to
save the pathetic mortals. And dont think you can
just shoot straight through them either... if the
mortals see you killing your own angels, their
respect for you will drop like a rock off a cliff.
Aliens
If you didnt create these guys, who did?
The Aliens will try to beam up as many of your
people as they can carry. If you let the aliens steal
your flock, youre basically losing souls.
If the mortals see this, attention gets shifted from
your divine self, onto the less than divine aliens.
Naturally, this will all show up as a drop in your
Kill-O-Meter. Dont tolerate it. Hit them with
everthing youve got!
Evangelists
Trying to spread the word (which is "bugger!") is
like trying to spread butter with a chopstick. Poor
evangelists need all the help they can get, so if you
go around killing them too, whos going to be on
your side? No... best to leave them to themselves.
Satan Himself
What an evil chappy! Whod have thought hed turn
out like this?
He will do everthing in his power to defeat you by
converting your precious souls to his evil cult - thus
lowering your ratings all round. You can both shoot
at Satan himself, or you can carry on shooting the
mortals, in an attempt to secure the region.
Watch how your actions influence the Kill-O-Meter at
the bottom of the screen, and act accordingly.
Killing one person at a time wont do much to your
rating, but if you get groups of deaths, people will
look at this as some serious divine intervention.
If the going gets tough, leave your flock alone for a
while. Wait until they all start to blaspheme at you,
then let them have it. This will really make them see
the error of their ways!
(everything they say except for "REPENT" is regarded
as blasphemy!)
Write down the names of each level as they start.
These will act as passwords later on.
Autofire may be nice, but quick, well-aimed shots
will allow you to make more of an impression on the
Kill-O-Meter. Remember, youre trying to kill as
many people as you can with each shot. Cows and
sheep are people too.
as if you wanted to know...
Armegalo (a.k.a. Richard Pringle) is 27, English, but
at the time of writing, living in New Zealand.
He writes Flash games for anyone that pays,
especially if they pay in pizzas.
You can see a full portfolio at
www.armegalo.com
www.armegalo.com
Armegalo hereby licenses anyone, anywhere, to make
use of this game in any way they like provided it
remains unchanged, is available for free, and is
published at the correct size of 550x400 pixels. This
includes, but is not exclusive to publication on a
website, magazine coverdisk or any other media.
You may not, however, use it as a lamp shade.
This game has been an exercise in viral marketing. If
you are interested in a game with YOUR logo all over
it, contact
rich@armegalo.co.uk
rich@armegalo.co.uk
For help, support, advice or generally just being cool...
Paul, Lucy, Darren, Nigel, Sarah, Tony, Kris, Simon,
Shaun, Susan, Elvira, Scott, Lee, Michael, Rewa, Moo,
Rudolf, Pina Lou, Jason, Isabelle, Perry, Dom, Jude,
Mum, Caroline, Xavier, Jake, LichNexus, Newgrounds
For kickin tunes...
Groove Armarda, Theivery Corporation, Kruder and
Dorfmeister, Salmanella Dub, Pitch Black, BT, Moby,
Sensor, Chemical Brothers, Massive Attack.
Special thanks to Chris Evans for the scoreboard
code and database.
Im sorry if this game has offended you in any way. I
was deeply religious once myself. Now, I occasionally
find organised religion offensive.
Chaos moves in mysterious ways.
Armegalo
Passwords are the names of each level - for instance,
level one is called "MUhahahaha!" so type that to
get to level one...
There is a time penalty of 5 minutes per level.
Passwords only give access to Easy levels.
back
back
back
Achieve Megadeath by any means
as fast as possible.
New Weapon - HAY BOMB
Select icon (or press "1") then place.
Cows and patience needed.
New Weapon - LIGHTNING GUN
Just click ya victim! Hold for autofire
Some of the Angels have got the funny idea
that what youre doing is wrong.
Dont shoot your own angels!
New Weapon : FLOOD
Select icon (or press "2") then place.
Flood doesnt kill, but it can be useful
for keeping people in one place.
Are these one of yours? Whatever...
Theyre trying to stealing from you though.
dont stand for it!
New Weapon : QUAKE
Click icon (or press "3") and HOLD for
lasting effect. See the visitors try and
lock on to a moving target...
Dont hit the evangelists,
theyre on your side!
New Weapon : ANGEL OF DEATH
Select icon (or press "4") then place.
Kills only those who have sinned.
Remember, you can specify target after
target, to effect sweeping death.
Now your flock has gone astray
its time to WAIT for judgement day.
New Weapon : BONZAI VOLCANO
Select icon (or press "5") then place.
Groups of sheep burn a treat!
Congratulations - youve defeated
SATAN himself!
As a reward, youve decided
to let yourself be infinately
cruel. Isnt that nice!
Use the new icons to create your victims
With all that smiting going on, someone
was bound to hear you...
If Satan converts any of your people,
be sure to kill them as soon as possible.
Youve learned how to use them...
Choose your weapons and
Unleash your WRATH!!!
armegalo
rules!
your
advert
here!
Go on... click here to get a WRATH II T-shirt, mug or
mouse mat. Ill make more games if you do :)
Careful... your computer may become unresponsive if you
create too many! Or you might have a really nice PC...
I dunno, its up to you... whatever :P
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